Bobby read a Rowling book,
Tolkien bored the little crook.
He grew ugly, he grew dumb
Bit his nails and sucked his thumb.

Bobby read an Eddings novel,
Stole his father's garden shovel
Hit a granny on the skull
Because Eddings was so dull.

Bobby read a Pullman work
And went totally berserk
Tortured pets and did some drugs
Hung around with hools and thugs.

Mommy was a Tolkien fan,
So she saved her little man
When she smacked him on the head:
"Read a Tolkien book instead!"

Bobby read a Tolkien book
And his wicked mind it shook
He repented and he cried:
"Now I see how Pullman lied!"

Reading Tolkien made him wise
Soon he won the Nobel Prize
And he gave his mum a kiss:
"Thanks for leading me to bliss!"