Preach loud truth
420 blaze it Tollers
Jam session
Ceiling Lolkien
Shoot the Tolkpedo
Poke the Heretic
Chaika? Yes Chaika

Bobby's Story

A short poem about a young boy who was saved by reading Tolkien. Very educational.

 

Bobby read a Rowling book,
Tolkien bored the little crook.
He grew ugly, he grew dumb
Bit his nails and sucked his thumb.

Bobby read an Eddings novel,
Stole his father's garden shovel
Hit a granny on the skull
Because Eddings was so dull.

Bobby read a Pullman work
And went totally berserk
Tortured pets and did some drugs
Hung around with hools and thugs.

Mommy was a Tolkien fan,
So she saved her little man
When she smacked him on the head:
"Read a Tolkien book instead!"

Bobby read a Tolkien book
And his wicked mind it shook
He repented and he cried:
"Now I see how Pullman lied!"

Reading Tolkien made him wise
Soon he won the Nobel Prize
And he gave his mum a kiss:
"Thanks for leading me to bliss!"

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Tolkien A-Z

A comprehensive collection of short truths from J.R.R. Tolkien's life, and the many wonders and miracles he bestowed upon the world. Put together and published here for the first time!

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Mail: noel@tolkientruth.info

Or meet me in person. I hold daily sermons in front of my prophet cave in the desert, whenever the voices tell me to. A small donation is welcome.